We have profound choices in this life, we arrive at a moment of truth, we have to decide what am I about. Sometimes those choices occur at a moment of our greatest adversity. In my life I had to face the adversity the loss of my oldest daughter. So this came from me, it came from within me to realize there are five ways I can honor my daughter and the loss that has occurred in my life.
The first thing is my own survival.
I have to figure what to do to get from this breath to the next breath to survive. If I am going to fight my way back into life I’ve got to figure out a plan for self-care.
The second is to do something good in the name of my daughter…
Whether that is lighting a candle or whether it’s creating a foundation in her name that promotes kindness in the world. Whatever it is that you decide to do, do something good in the name of the person you’ve lost or what you’ve lost.
The third thing, embody some precious irrepressible quality they possessed.
It could be their kindness, could be their enthusiasm, their light-heartedness, the joking they did in this world to make people feel so accepted and so light-hearted. Whatever it is embody that spirit, grow it, cultivate it within you.
The fourth honoring is to develop a spiritual relationship.
We all are asked to do this. We have to believe in things that are unseen. I can no longer call my daughter on the phone or call her for lunch. But I can express my love to her. I can send it out even if I don’t know the nature of this life and death is. I can love her and feel her love. Developing that spiritual relationship with the people who love is critical.
And lastly and the one that involves the most profound courage is to write new chapters of your own life.
To have the courage to go forward even though they are not there to witness it. But to write beautiful new chapters. To live out your life as an expression of your love. Not of your despair. That’s the choice we get to make and I am confident you are going to make the right choice.
Want to learn more about the 5 honorings?
Dr. Ken Druck works with individuals, organizations, communities, and families on turning challenges into opportunities.