I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade — but this year I’m changing things up a little — and making a bunch of New Year’s “un-resolutions.”
With all due respect to the procrastination-ending promises, spirited goals, deeply-held commitments and news-making fresh starts, I’ve decided the opt out of this annual ritual and treat Jan. 1st as just another (precious, irretrievable) day. On January 1st, the sun will rise and fall for me in the absence of anything resembling a resolution. So what are my un-resolutions? What exactly am I going to step aside and allow to go unresolved? And why have I decided to do this?
Let’s start with the “why.” Well, for one thing, I’m tired of making agreements I might not keep, pressuring myself to be better, smarter, thinner, healthier, richer, happier or more at peace with life. No more trying, stressing and/or straining to willfully plan or control the future, putting myself on deadline to write the next book — and no more deflating false starts in 2014. I am giving myself time off from having to change anything. And devoting myself to a year of accepting things just the way they are. Accepting myself just as I am. And accepting life just as it is. My un-resolution is to leave all well alone, not force myself into having to resolve anything and just relax.
That doesn’t mean I’m not going to allow positive changes to unfold naturally in 2014. Or that my contrarian, oppositional-defiant inner-child has taken over and I am going to the dark side. Nor does it mean I am opposed to things getting better, or as good as they’ve ever been this year. It means that I am going Zen this year and want to see what happens as I move through the days, weeks and months of this alleged new year. Allowing, not efforting, as my motivations, energy, dreams, aspirations, habits and patterns rise and fall with the sun is going to be a refreshing departure from my continuous improvement plan. And so, (knowing this is going to drive my positive thinking, new age, law of attraction buddies nuts), I officially do not resolve to lose weight, work less, play more, get healthier, earn more, save the world, eat better, learn to play the guitar, grow my business or be a better, more loving father, son, brother, uncle or boyfriend.
Driven by willfulness, pressure and “never enough,” we too often fail to allow that which is effortlessly unfolding in us to emerge. This year, I’m going to get out of my own way, step aside, trust that my innate desire to become the better version of me will awaken if and when it’s ready to do so. I’m ready to see what good things bubble up without champaign induced New Year’s Resolutions getting in the way — and run with it.
Ken Druck, Ph.D., founder of The Jenna Druck Center in San Diego, is a renowned resilience expert, speaker, organizational and family consultant, and award-winning author of several books including, The Real Rules of Life (Hay House). Follow Ken’s blog or find him on Facebook.
Photo credit: Images by Lisette
Copyright Dr. Ken Druck. If you like this article, please share it!