It’s been over two decades since tragedy struck my family in 1996 when my oldest daughter, Jenna, died while studying abroad. At age 21, her life was just beginning. And I was crushed. Every cell in my being turned inside out and I could not
Closure Is A Myth. Healing Is a Lifelong Process
With 4500 of our fellow Americans now dying of COVID-19 every day, the idea of “getting closure” is elusive for those who have lost a loved one. In this chapter from my book, The Real Rules of Life, I show how healing our life losses,
The Six Honorings: Coping with the Loss of a Loved One
Guidelines for Going On After the Loss of a Loved One The loss of our loved ones changes us forever. “You don’t think you’ll live past it,” is how author Barbara Kingsolver so eloquently explains it, adding, “and you don’t, really. The person you were
Seven Steps to Cultivating Our Peaceful Nature
The Oxford Dictionary defines Continuum as, “a continuous sequence in which adjacent elements are not perceptibly different from each other, although the extremes are quite distinct.” One of the most confounding continuums we experience is that of peace and violence. At one end of the
Wall Street Journal: What’s My Role at an Aging Parent’s Doctor Appointment?
For adult children attending doctor visits with their parents, the dynamics can be tricky. Here’s advice from the experts. My parents are getting older and their medical needs more complicated. They now need me to take them to their doctors’ appointments, but what is my
My COVID Beard
When I see this photo of myself, I see me at Woodstock; as a drummer, anti-war activist marching on Washington, and a 19-year-old kid making his way through college. My beard and long hair were important parts of my identity back in the day. Watching
“Keep on Keeping On”
My dear friend-turned-brother, Asa, knew there was nothing he could say to take away my pain and anguish in the days, weeks, and months after my daughter Jenna died in 1996. At the end of every phone call or visit, Ace would tell me to
Grieving The Living Losses of Our Lives
Twenty years ago, I developed a program for “Living Losses” – a grief we feel where there is not a physical death, but a significant loss nonetheless. A living loss could be for missing or estranged children, family or friends lost to drug or alcohol
Your Self-Care Checklist in a World on Fire
There are times when it seems as if the entire world is unraveling (approximately 200,000 COVID-19 deaths; fires raging; civil unrest/protests; unprecedented corruption, polarization, and distrust; widespread food and job insecurity, etc.). We’re learning to live in an entirely new normal, and while some of
2020 Election is About Voting for America
Game seasons for the NBA, MLB and NFL may be at risk in what history will remember as “The 2020 Pandemic”; however, the biggest game of all is underway — the contest for who will lead a nation of 320 million people into the future.
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